It's About to Begin....

It all seemed so fun and exciting a couple of weeks ago but as the days wind down closer and closer to August 25th, it's starting to sink in. I'm going to South Africa. In 44 days. (Well technically 54 because orientation is in Chicago). But still - 44 days until I leave my house for ten months and I won't see my family or friends or have my normal routine around me to comfort me. I will be missing every holiday get together, my birthday, my brother's college graduation (I haven't even been out once to visit him), my friends' high school speeches and graduation, and my friends' hang outs after their first semester of college.

As the days get closer it's hard for me to not think of all the negatives this trip is bringing. I have to constantly remind myself that God has got bigger plans in this and He has been there since the beginning. Some quotes that I found the other day are a good reminder to place my faith and fears in God: "There isn't enough room in your mind for both worry and faith. You must decide which one will live there;" "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase;" and "We must travel in the direction of our fear."

I am definitely traveling in the direction of my fear. I like to be comfortable. To be at home. To be surrounded by those I love and keep with the relationships I have already formed. South Africa is a big leap of faith for me and I am hopefully going to learn along the way that I don't have room for the worries that are insignificant in the large scheme of things. God's got His hand on me and I can't give up hope in that. I am excited that this stretch will force me to rely on God because I won't be comfortable. I'm torn between wanting to stay and wanting to go.

I won't know exactly what I am going to be doing for the year until I get there but God's got His plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and I am confident that God has been with me every step of the journey thus far. The fact that I'm even going to South Africa has God's seal on it because of the way it fell into place.

As you can see I'm in a battle between fear, nerves, excitement, anticipation, and hope. In case you can't tell from my panicky first blog - I am SUPER excited! I just more often tell people the stuff I'm excited for rather than the stuff I'm scared for so please pray for me that as this trip starts sinking in, that in the preparation and every step throughout the journey I will see God's hand and will not doubt what His plans are for me and continue to stay excited!